0.24 am

I hope I've made you happy so far, Joyce. I dont know either what lies ahead of us but I hope you were happy when we were together. Lots of things have been on my mind and they are about your own good. Whether it's good or bad, I dont want anyone to look at you and judge you on what we're doing. It was killing me when you werent alright. You know and I'm sure that I'm on your side and will always be but it's true that I cant really be by your side for now or in the near future. I'm sorry I cant be there when you need me. I guess that's why you've been told to live with reality. I've just realised it. Am I selfish to keep you be in this way? Are you really happy the way we are? You're the second person that I care for this much. As I told you, there was a girl that I cared for but she saw me just a sister and now I think of her as just a nice sister as well. You're my only love at this moment. I used to make a promise to myself not to fall for anyone but who could resist you? You are beautiful inside and outside, especially inside (i'm not talking about physically here)! You're ANGEL to me. And I know lots of people also think the same and want to take care of you. I'm happy to know that you get more and more love from everyone who gets to know you. Thinking about it, I'm happy as long as you are happy. I'm well as long as you are well. I'm worried when you are not alright. I guess it's supposed to be this way when it comes to the word 'LOVE'. BTW, it took me nearly 2 hours to write till this since I started the first sentence. I've been thinking how to write it out. I guess i'm not a good writer at all. I think you must be confused by what I wrote here. :) Please dont be worried when you read this post. I always have messy thoughts like this on my mind at night! Promise me you wont talk about this post when we get to talk next time! I'm still the same old me. Still be your hubby and the one who loves you so much.