English is not that easy..-_-'

I know it's annoying and frustrated when I dont get what you say on the phone and I have to ask for repeating. I'm really sorry but I just cant help it. And when I have something to say, it takes me some time to think about words, tenses, sentences, and ways to pronounce it. haaa...that's why I said 'nothing' sometimes coz it's easier not to speak. Tell me when you cant take it anymore, okay? English is not that hard but it's still hard when I dont get to use it in daily life. I used to be better and quicker when I was in university but now I think my brain is getting slower and crashing. It's like everything I knew and studied is fading away little by little. Maybe i'm really old for this lol. It can be tiring for both of us when conversations are blocked. I think time can heal everything. now i'm waiting for my english to get back as good as it used to be. I dont know if i have written these all grammartically correct and i'm too tired to final check them now so i'll let them be like this. hope you'll understand me. i know you dont want me to say sorry for this but i feel guilty..lol..and baby, when i left our conversation silent, it was because i didnt know how to say things on my mind in your language. that's all. it didnt mean that i didnt wanna talk to you or anything but i just couldnt find the words to say. well, the point for this post is that I am afraid you would get me wrong and feel ignored or neglected or whatever those words mean. maybe i think too much. haaa...0.02 am now. after this, i'm gonna take a vitamin pill and take a bath and then call it a day! see ya tomorrow. i love you always.